Father

She looks so small to me... all those little fingers and little toes. I just want to hug her and squeeze her all the time. I always wanted to be a father and play with my kids and stuff all day long. Not sure that I realized what it meant to be a father until she cried a couple of times. My natural impulse is to just "fix it" whatever it is. But trying to fix it is not as easy because Peyton can't really tell me what is wrong when she cries. You get a really helpless feeling when you can't figure out what is wrong... did she eat already? is her diaper dirty? or is she just tired?

She has her little eyes open a bit more...not much more, but she does try to look around from time to time. I wish she would just look at me and smile and know that I am her father. For now, she doesn't seem too interested in me and looks around at bright lights and such.

Still I wish she would somehow recognize me.

With time, I know that will come. All of the good memories with her are just waiting to be made... learning to ride a bike, color within the lines, and playing with her favorite toys together. I just love all of those little fingers and toes. I can't wait until she realizes how much I love her.

I always wondered why a divine creature like God decided to call Himself by such a common title as Father. If you think about it, He exists in eternity as the center of all worship and adoration. Why chose a title like father? It never really made any sense to me. At least it didn't until Peyton was born. I just want to love her and squeeze her all the time. All sorts of new feelings... some loving and some protective are rising to the top. I am sure as she grows that even more feelings will surface.

Why did God chose a title like Father? What is He trying to tell us? What does this say about His character and nature?

Father. It also describes me now. Its like seeing the world and my God in a whole new way.

-arnold